F is for Friend

My poor little blog has been sitting here idle for weeks now and day after summer day goes by. We've been out and about doing our summery things, Fenway Park, the beach, ice cream, you name it, we've done it, but none of it is "blog worthy". It's not to say that we haven't had a great summer, we have, but there is only so much you can write about the beach, crickets and sunsets.

I've been waiting for something over-the-top-exciting to happen so I'd have some good writing material.

But sometimes it's not the big things.

Last week I got a message from my friend Brenda. I've known her since high school. We were best friends then, and I can still honestly say she's one of my best friends now.

We don't see each other often, in fact, we rarely get together and the only reason for that is because we are both so busy with kids, work and life in general. She was going to be in the neighborhood and wondered if we should get together.

So we made plans for dinner.

The beauty of our friendship is, we can go for years without seeing each other but still pick up right where we left off. It's natural, it's comfortable and it's real.

We shared so many experiences back then, we had a lot of fun, we laughed a lot, and when we talk about those experiences now, we still laugh most of the time, but sometimes we just roll our eyes and wonder "what were we thinking?" Like the time my car got stuck while we were hiding the bottle of wine we were going to drink later that night, or when we stole the mailbox (who knew it was a federal offense?).

Here we are on our senior class trip to Florida. Those are some sweet wheels. I'm the one driving and I'm fairly certain she is NOT going to be happy with me for posting this little gem!

We had a nice dinner, good conversation, a walk out on the pier and then we parted ways, but with a promise to each other to make sure we do this again and soon.

I think we all have made promises like that in the past and life inevitably happens and gets in the way of the best intentions.

This time, I am going to do my best to keep that promise. "Keep your girlfriends close" I heard someone say recently. So although Brenda and I have a lot of memories from our past, I think it's time we make some new memories too.

Fluidity

"...and Pooh said to Piglet, Life is so much friendlier with two."

-a. a. milne

At 17 my oldest son's best friends are still the ones he made when he was in kindergarten. Will they always be his best friends? It's hard to say. Life changes us in ways that make us grow apart in some ways, and grow closer together in other ways.

"A true friend is someone you can trust with all your secrets." -anonymous

I have one friend that I have from childhood, and although I rarely see her anymore, I know that when we get together we can pick up right where we left off. We know things about each other that no one else does. There is something about that friendship that has lasted even though life has taken us in different directions. We went to different colleges, made other friends, got married, had children, live in different communities. We've laughed together, cried together, been really angry at one another, were there for each of our weddings and are godmothers to each other's children. Our friendship made it through all of it.

"A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart." -author unknown

People flow in and out of our lives all the time and sometimes people show up at just the right time, when they are needed most. When we are feeling badly about ourselves, when life is getting us down, when we are struggling in ways that we may not even realize, someone shows up to help us feel happier in ways that were never expected. It's those little surprises that mean so much.

"A friend in kindergarten is the one who sat next to you and let you have the pretty red crayon, when only the ugly black one was left." -author unknown

I think about my kindergarten kids and wonder if among them there is a friendship that will last. I watch them compete for attention, tattle on each other relentlessly and sometimes be purposely mean and hurtful. Could there be the beginnings of any life long friendships there? Time will tell.

"No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever." -Francois Mauriac

My kindergarteners arrive in September little, unsure and full of promise and although it is my job to teach them to read and write, count, add, tell time, add and subtract, and so much more, when June comes around I hope I have reached them in some way that transcends the academic. Maybe how to be kinder, more understanding, helpful or empathetic. lessons that are not part of the general curriculum but lessons for life. If they only knew how much they have taught me. They eventually leave me to move on to other teachers, but there is not one that has come through my door that I don't now still think of as mine.

"Most people come into our lives and quickly leave. It is the special few that come in and leave a footprint in our hearts and we are forever changed." -author unknown

They are with me for such a small part of their lives, and in little more than a week they will move on from my classroom. Although this year has been a struggle for me professionally I know I'll get choked up and teary as they walk out of the door for the last time. It's those children that I have had to work the hardest to reach that are the hardest to say good-bye to. They won't understand the reason for the tears, but it doesn't matter, I will.

Just one more thing...

This Friday our school will hold it's 5th grade moving on ceremony. I am always emotional during the ceremony as the kids receive special recognition for 6 years of hard work. This year I am going to be especially moved because of one little girl who I've watched grow from the time she was put in my arms as an infant to the very special young girl she has become. She's not my daughter, but I love her like she is, and I hope she realizes how very special she is to me. I hope she knows I will always be there if she needs a hug or needs someone to just listen. Job well done Madison. I love you.