At Summer's End

The signs are everywhere. 

Kids being dragged to the store for new sneakers, backpacks and lunch boxes. Teachers like me are finding their way kicking and screaming to their classrooms, to put away new supplies, dress up the bulletin boards, organize class lists and arrange classroom furniture. 

But the start of school is never so evident as it is in a college town. 

I see it every year as the students start to move in. They gather in front of the dorms with their parents, carrying boxes and milk crates, computers and printers. The streets are suddenly busier and the sidewalks are full of white ear phone wearing, backpack carrying kids heading to class.

This year I'm watching it all with a new perspective because next fall I'll be the one sending one off to college. 

We took two college tours with him this week. I love the feeling of walking around a college campus. The ivy covered brown stones oozed intelligence, the marble staircases gleamed with promise as we climb them to view a lecture hall.  Boston University is a "sexy" school, right in the middle of a bustling city with Fenway Park right around the corner. I know, I know not a reason to choose a school but...

We all followed our tour guide and listened intently to everything she had to say. Actually, not all listened intently. One miserable father who coincidentally was wearing a yankee cap on his head had nothing good to say about anything she showed us. I really think he was just unhappy to be standing in the shadows of THE PAHK.

Our tour ended and as we stood waiting for the train to our next tour destination, the kid looked at me and said,  "I don't think this school is conducive to my learning, it's just too busy." 

Good to know!

We arrived at our next destination. Another big Boston school, but this one felt different. I could actually picture him walking around this campus, going from class to class, living in that dorm room, eating in that dining hall and studying in that library. The more our guide showed us, the bigger the kid's smile got and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was.

I knew for sure when he jumped in the front of the line to rub the nose on the bronze Huskie for luck! "Please let me get in to this school", I heard him say.

I don't know where he'll end up, there are still more tours to take and more mascot noses to rub, but he'll find the right fit because he's a smart boy with a good head on his shoulders. 

So I'll watch him navigate through his senior year, I'll help him with the forms and the applications and I'll edit the essays and when it comes to carry the milk crates I'll do that too and I may even rub a mascot nose or two along the way.

F is for Friend Part 2.

friend -noun A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

A pretty basic definition but not really very warm or "friendly". I am really lucky to have the friends I do.

There are my friends like Brenda who I've know forever, or Little who seems to be my best buddy this summer, my mom, Medium and Big (although at 15 and 17, it's not always easy to like them!) and my husband, who is most certainly my best friend.

I have friends that I know because we met on a message board over 9 years ago. We were all pregnant at the same time, all due in August of 2000. Some of them I've met, some I haven't but we have been there to support one another through some pretty rough stuff and also there for each other to celebrate some huge accomplishments. Our "babies" are all turning nine this month and we have grown to be very close friends. They are amazing woman and I'm proud to know them.

I've had people ask me if it's really possible to have real friendships when you've never met the person you're talking to. I know it is possible because I have a more than a few of them. Friends who are moms of boys, and friends I can compete against in a nice "friendly" game of Scrabble.

I have friends that I can be silly with, I have friends that I can have deep conversations with and friends I can tell anything to because I can trust them implicitly.

I have friends that can provide a listening ear and just know when to say, "I understand" because that's all I really need.

I have my work friends that I miss during the summer months. We keep in touch to some extent, but never as much as we say we will. During the school year we are like next door neighbors, waving to each other from across the hall or having a quick conversation during an elevator ride, venting to each other when we've had a particularly rough day and sticking our heads into a classroom door just to smile and say "hello". Over the summer we're all busy doing our own thing which is the way it should be.

Some friendships are difficult and the ones worth keeping are worth the extra effort. But, when does it become too hard? When you're disappointed over and over? When that friend breaks a trust, or just plain makes it too hard to be a friend. I'm not talking about friends that just grow apart for one reason or another, but friends you have to let go of because the friendship stops being healthy. I wonder if people like that were truly friends to begin with?

So although the definition of friend certainly describes what a friend is, it doesn't describe how it feels to have a friend. I know that feeling and for me it comes in many different kinds of people.

I hope each and every one of them knows how important they are to me. I guess this was just my little way of telling them.

F is for Friend

My poor little blog has been sitting here idle for weeks now and day after summer day goes by. We've been out and about doing our summery things, Fenway Park, the beach, ice cream, you name it, we've done it, but none of it is "blog worthy". It's not to say that we haven't had a great summer, we have, but there is only so much you can write about the beach, crickets and sunsets.

I've been waiting for something over-the-top-exciting to happen so I'd have some good writing material.

But sometimes it's not the big things.

Last week I got a message from my friend Brenda. I've known her since high school. We were best friends then, and I can still honestly say she's one of my best friends now.

We don't see each other often, in fact, we rarely get together and the only reason for that is because we are both so busy with kids, work and life in general. She was going to be in the neighborhood and wondered if we should get together.

So we made plans for dinner.

The beauty of our friendship is, we can go for years without seeing each other but still pick up right where we left off. It's natural, it's comfortable and it's real.

We shared so many experiences back then, we had a lot of fun, we laughed a lot, and when we talk about those experiences now, we still laugh most of the time, but sometimes we just roll our eyes and wonder "what were we thinking?" Like the time my car got stuck while we were hiding the bottle of wine we were going to drink later that night, or when we stole the mailbox (who knew it was a federal offense?).

Here we are on our senior class trip to Florida. Those are some sweet wheels. I'm the one driving and I'm fairly certain she is NOT going to be happy with me for posting this little gem!

We had a nice dinner, good conversation, a walk out on the pier and then we parted ways, but with a promise to each other to make sure we do this again and soon.

I think we all have made promises like that in the past and life inevitably happens and gets in the way of the best intentions.

This time, I am going to do my best to keep that promise. "Keep your girlfriends close" I heard someone say recently. So although Brenda and I have a lot of memories from our past, I think it's time we make some new memories too.

Lessons from Bikini Bottom

Yesterday was a perfect beach day. Hazy, hot and humid everywhere but on the shore. Bright sunshine, barely a cloud in the sky, so off we went. I was up early, packed the cooler and the beach bag, then set about waking up the rest of the house. 

The two big boys, teenagers that they are, summer drunk and drowsy from late nights and days filled with soccer opted out, but the little one and hubby were raring to go.

We arrived at the beach around 10:00, and payed the $20 parking fee. Ouch! $20??  I know I know, seems a little pricey, but where else can you spend $20 for a full day 'o fun?

We unpacked the car, carried chairs, cooler and ourselves to the sand, picked the perfect spot and set up camp.

We chose Wingaersheek in Gloucester. The best little kid beach around. No huge waves, but at low tide you can walk for what seems like miles, there are rocks to climb on, and great tide pools for hunting. It's such a shallow beach that when the tide does come in the water is Carribean warm because of the sand that's been baking in the sun all day.

When we arrived the tide was pretty low, so the three of us started walking to see what we could find.

It wasn't long before I had a handful of sand dollars. We kept walking and Little found a huge shell sticking out of the sand, I picked it up and discovered the most disgusting looking sea slug oozing out from it. 

He named it Gary and I have to say, this disgusting slug looked nothing like his Sponge Bob counterpart. 

I put him back and started walking ahead of the Little One and the Dad, but I could hear their conversation.

The Dad has a little bit of Mike Brady in him. He will take any teachable moment and turn it into a life lesson and somehow, our disgusting, not so little sea slug was just what he needed.

He talked about how even the ugliest of creatures have a place in the world. (Food for seagulls)

Then somehow the conversation turned to Mr. Crabs and Mr. Square Pants himself. 

Little: Mr. Crabs would love these sand dollars, he loves money.

Dad: He is kind of cheap isn't he? He's not very nice to Sponge Bob either.

Little: That's because he makes Sponge Bob work harder so he can make more money at the Crusty Crab.

Dad: Well he still shouldn't treat Sponge Bob like that.

Me: (because I can't mind my own business and I'm a little critical at times...) Sponge Bob is too stupid to know better and quit.

Dad: He's not stupid, he's just young and naive and Mr. Crabs is taking advantage of him.

Little: Yeah mom,  and Sponge Bob loves his job.

Me: (now staying out of this one, sometimes it's better to just listen.)

Little: Hey look, little fish.

Dad: That's krill, it's what whales eat.

Little: You mean like Plankton. He's Mr. Crabs' arch enemy. He's always trying to steal the recipe for Crabby Patties. The Crabby Patties recipe is an old family recipe you know. He and Mr. Crabs were childhood friends, but now they hate each other.

Dad: See what greed will do. It tears people apart.

Little: Well maybe someday they'll work things out and be friends again.

Dad: Let's hope so.

I don't know how much Little got out of this conversation, but I enjoyed it, and do know I'll never look at a sea slug the same way again!

The Art of Doing Nothing

Doing nothing sounds blissful in a too busy world. After a very productive, often stressful, yet triumphant school year, you would think the down-time would be very much appreciated, and it is. But here I am faced with all this time and I find it strangely uncomfortable. 

My days are filled with time, time for my kids, time for myself, time to read a juicy novel, time to catch up on all those house things that get put aside all year long, but I find it hard to have all this unstructured time. No set time to get up, shower, do my hair, get dressed, no schedules to keep, nowhere to be. 

Relaxing takes practice.

I find it hard to switch gears and with no "real" vacation planned,  I put a lot of pressure on myself to find things to do to keep the kids entertained. The beach one day, mini golf the next, The Willows, ice cream, the movies, camp, sailing, play dates, bike rides...you get the picture.

I feel horribly guilty when we just exist. I feel like a day hanging around the house is a day wasted in a summer that is all too fleeting. 

I know my friends reading this who work full time all year long are now shaking their heads and saying, "those teachers, they don't know how good they have it"  but the fact of the matter is, very few of us take the entire summer off. There are classes to teach, workshops to take, rooms to rearrange and, although none of us become teachers for summers off, it's a pretty good perk that I refuse to apologize for, because we work really hard all year...and we deserve it damn it! 

So here I sit, blogging from  my front porch, which has become my new favorite place to practice doing nothing. I'm getting better at it and should have it mastered...hmm, right around Labor Day!

The Sound of Summer

I went for a bike ride tonight after dinner. There is a bike path that begins just down the road from where I live, along a tidal salt marsh.   I was just riding, enjoying the evening, alone in my thoughts. I was thinking about how much I loved riding my bike when I was a kid and how much I still feel like a kid when I'm on it now. I started thinking about my friends then, how we'd ride up and down the street going nowhere in particular. 

I thought about how quiet it was there on the bike path, but then I started to listen and realized it wasn't really very quiet at all. I realized what I was hearing were the sounds of summer. 

A squeaky swing, a seagull's call, the clicking noise when pedals move backwards, the hollow crack of a wiffle ball bat, and the cardinal in the tree above.

I started thinking about other summer sounds, the ones I couldn't

 hear from my bike like waves crashing on the shore, kids squealing as they run from the waves before the cold water hits their toes, the cicadas that buzz on hot humid days, thunder rumbling in the distance bringing cooler air along with the rain, and fireworks bursting on the 4th.

 Some summer sounds are not as pleasant, too loud music from a car, the sudden roar of a Harley and the mosquito that buzzes in your ear at night as you pull the sheets up over your head hoping to keep from getting bitten. 

Then there are the crickets who save their summer songs 'til August, when the days are hot but the nights are cool. As much as I love the sound of those crickets I know what they are telling me. All too soon those summer sounds will fade and the sound I'll hear most often is the sound of the school bell.

I enjoyed my bike ride today, and I'm really glad to have a few more to take before the crickets start to chirp away the days.

Just a suggestion...

I've been in a funk. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, I've been uncomfortable in my own skin, and I just can't get out of my own way. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe the very un-summer like weather, maybe it's not being on a real schedule or because I've been feeling physically yucky but whatever it is it effects everything I do. My ambition, my energy level, my patience...my blog!

I am slowly coming out of it, the sun is out, I feel better, I made myself go out to dinner with my girlie friends and I found a good book to read. But my blog...what to do with my blog?

So I took it to my facebook status and asked my friends for suggestions. I got some I think I can work with! Thanks to all my contributors!

1. Cooking and Recipes.

Let me just say, I used to like to cook, but then I had kids and all my creativity in the kitchen went right out the window. Not only did I have kids, but I gave birth to picky kids. It's the Irish in them. Meat and potatoes. I'm hoping my kitchen skills come back but they have been so dormant for so long now they may just be lost forever.

2. Rain.

See previous post.

3. Free things to do in Salem

At first I thought, free? No way. Living in a tourist town, there isn't much "free" going on, but then I started to do a little research and this is what I found.

Ten Free Things to do in Salem

Everything from walking garden tours to free films, to old graveyards, to the Witch Trial Memorial, Salem is full of history and just walking along the waterfront, or down Chestnut Street tells a lot about the past, present and future of a beautiful city. The Peabody Essex Museum is free for Salem residents and is a lot more kid friendly than I once thought. Time to open up my tourist eyes and get out there!

4. Irritating Stuff, Top Ten Things I hate.

Good suggestions but in the spirit of getting out of my funk, I'm going to avoid the negative for now...

5. Top Ten Things I Love...in no particular order.

• my family
• my friends
• my job
• the beach
• the summer
• the Red Sox
• Starbucks green iced tea
• my computer
• writing
• cookies

6. The Red Sox are 8-0 against the yankees but yet are still tied with them for first place.

Now I was going to completely ignore this suggestion because I really try to avoid talking about the yankees at all, but really, would it be a baseball season at all if these two teams were not neck and neck in the standings? (Note the use of the lowercase "y". Although the name "yankees" is a noun, they are far from proper.)

However, I will be in attendance at the game on Saturday night. I will be wearing my lucky hat and will say a prayer in the cathedral that is Fenway Park so expect things to shift in the proper direction.

7. The peacefulness and solitude of running.

The fact is, I hate running. I have to talk myself into every step. There is nothing peaceful about it for me. It's just the opposite, it causes inner turmoil. But, it's the quickest and most inexpensive way to drop a few pounds. I actually prefer to walk. I can let my thoughts wander, I can think, I can daydream, I can sing along to the tunes on my ipod. Sometimes I walk alone, sometimes Michael and I take ourselves to the beach and walk together, we have our best conversations that way. Walking puts me in a happy place, so I can safely say, unless I walk the 26.2, there are no Boston Marathons in my future.

So thanks to my friends, my blog post is done and I feel better. I knew they'd come through for me!

Thank you, Sandy, Regina, Angel, Michele, Robert and Don, and all of the rest of you, who make me laugh every single day.