Doing nothing sounds blissful in a too busy world. After a very productive, often stressful, yet triumphant school year, you would think the down-time would be very much appreciated, and it is. But here I am faced with all this time and I find it strangely uncomfortable.
My days are filled with time, time for my kids, time for myself, time to read a juicy novel, time to catch up on all those house things that get put aside all year long, but I find it hard to have all this unstructured time. No set time to get up, shower, do my hair, get dressed, no schedules to keep, nowhere to be.
Relaxing takes practice.
I find it hard to switch gears and with no "real" vacation planned, I put a lot of pressure on myself to find things to do to keep the kids entertained. The beach one day, mini golf the next, The Willows, ice cream, the movies, camp, sailing, play dates, bike rides...you get the picture.
I feel horribly guilty when we just exist. I feel like a day hanging around the house is a day wasted in a summer that is all too fleeting.
I know my friends reading this who work full time all year long are now shaking their heads and saying, "those teachers, they don't know how good they have it" but the fact of the matter is, very few of us take the entire summer off. There are classes to teach, workshops to take, rooms to rearrange and, although none of us become teachers for summers off, it's a pretty good perk that I refuse to apologize for, because we work really hard all year...and we deserve it damn it!
So here I sit, blogging from my front porch, which has become my new favorite place to practice doing nothing. I'm getting better at it and should have it mastered...hmm, right around Labor Day!