Y is for "You can't make this stuff up."

I'm constantly amazed at the things I see and hear as a teacher. Some that make me laugh out loud, some that cause me concern and some that simply just make me shake my head.
I heard one of those head shakers today. Fortunately it came from first grade and not from my kindergarten. I'm not sure I would have known what to do!
It was show and tell day, one of the little boys brought his grandfather to school. I can hear the collective "awwws". He brought his grandfather to school, in an urn. Yes, an urn, full of ashes. Grandpa has passed to the great beyond, to a more peaceful place, he has seen and followed the light, but yet here was back in first grade!
Now for the laugh out loud. I have a very endearing little boy in my class. He fancies himself a ladies man. He is having a Valentine's party next week to celebrate his favorite holiday. Here's our conversation...
Kinder Boy: Mrs. C I'm having a Valentine Party
Me: That's wonderful kinderboy, what a fun thing to do.
Kinder Boy: Yeah, I have so many girl friends I thought a party would be the best way to handle them.
Me: That sounds like a great plan.
Really, what was I going to say?
Now for the funny, but also cause for concern. I have a child in my class who has some obvious learning issues that will need to be addressed. I was putting her through some assessments the other day, one of which is to assess their ability to hear and use alliteration.
I gave her explicit directions on what I was looking for. I gave her more than one example of what I wanted her to do. (I'm not supposed to give any examples...so I was giving her an advantage here.)
Me: kindergirl, give me a word that starts like "dog"
KIndergirl: "RUFF"

You can't make this stuff up!