Y is for You can't make this stuff up! Part 2

The best part of my job is just sitting and talking to kids. Have you ever sat and talked, really talked to a 5-year-old? There are really very funny. I had a very long (3 minute) conversation with a kindergartener about food. We had indoor recess due to the weather and the kids were being a little noisy during the recess movie, so I sat among them to keep them quiet. Andy (name changed to protect the innocent) isn't even in my class, and has not said more than two words to me all year...until now. This is our conversation:

Him: I eat bacon at my house.

Me: Really, bacon is good isn't it? So yummy!

Him: Yeah, I used to like macaroni and cheese but my mom makes it too cheesy so I don't like it anymore.

Me: Well I can see how that could be a problem. What else do you like?

Him: Hot dogs.

Me: Do you like any vegetables?

Him: Carrots and ketchup.

Me: Hey! Ketchup is my favorite vegetable too! Do you ever go to McDonald's?

Him: Pfft, all the time. I like cheeseburgers there, just ketchup, no cheese.

Me: So, you mean you like hamburgers.

Him: No! I hate ham!

They kill me!

Y is for "You can't make this stuff up."

I'm constantly amazed at the things I see and hear as a teacher. Some that make me laugh out loud, some that cause me concern and some that simply just make me shake my head.
I heard one of those head shakers today. Fortunately it came from first grade and not from my kindergarten. I'm not sure I would have known what to do!
It was show and tell day, one of the little boys brought his grandfather to school. I can hear the collective "awwws". He brought his grandfather to school, in an urn. Yes, an urn, full of ashes. Grandpa has passed to the great beyond, to a more peaceful place, he has seen and followed the light, but yet here was back in first grade!
Now for the laugh out loud. I have a very endearing little boy in my class. He fancies himself a ladies man. He is having a Valentine's party next week to celebrate his favorite holiday. Here's our conversation...
Kinder Boy: Mrs. C I'm having a Valentine Party
Me: That's wonderful kinderboy, what a fun thing to do.
Kinder Boy: Yeah, I have so many girl friends I thought a party would be the best way to handle them.
Me: That sounds like a great plan.
Really, what was I going to say?
Now for the funny, but also cause for concern. I have a child in my class who has some obvious learning issues that will need to be addressed. I was putting her through some assessments the other day, one of which is to assess their ability to hear and use alliteration.
I gave her explicit directions on what I was looking for. I gave her more than one example of what I wanted her to do. (I'm not supposed to give any examples...so I was giving her an advantage here.)
Me: kindergirl, give me a word that starts like "dog"
KIndergirl: "RUFF"

You can't make this stuff up!