Friday, September 12, 2008

First Time

There is a first time for everything and I can safely say this week was the first time I ever stood at one of these...

















I have found through my experiences working with newbie kindergarteners that as the adult you must model everything. I mean EVERYTHING. From sitting in a circle with hands on your lap, walking in line, opening a milk carton, how to shake hands, push in a chair, greet the principal, pack a back pack and yes, use the bathroom. We've had some first week bathroom issues so I thought I better nip this in the bud, or butt. (pun very much intended)

I brought my ducklings down to the bathroom. I had help in the classroom that day so I took the opportunity to model proper bathroom etiquette. After waiting for the big kids to clear out I left the girls with the para,  lined up the kindergarten boy ducklings and marched them ever so confidently into the boys bathroom. I lined them up facing the row of urinals.
"Now boys, these are called urinals. You are all so lucky because the girls don't have these in their bathroom. Girls have to sit down to go to the bathroom, you get to stand up!"
Ten little boys looking at me like I was nuts. 
"Now, when you go pee, you don't need to pull your pants all the way down to your ankles, because if you do, what is sticking out?" Insert uncomfortable pause. "Your bottom, your bottom is sticking out and do you really want everyone to see your bottom? Ten little boys shaking their heads in unison.
All you have to do is pull your pants down far enough to bring out your, your, your...whatever you do Lisa, whatever you do don't say 'penis' they will erupt in fits of uncontrollable laughter, don't say it, don't do it!!!!
...your PARTS! Yes! your parts, go pee, then pull up your pants, don't forget to flush!" Go to the sink, use two squirts of soap, three pulls on the paper towels and out of the bathroom. The bathroom is a germy place boys and no place to play! Pee, Wash, Out! Repeat after me, Pee, Wash, Out!
Great job! Does anyone have any questions? 
Little short duckling raises hand.
Yes Little Short Duckling?
"What do we do if we have to poop?"
Insert sigh
"Now boys, these are called stalls..."


5 comments:

www.startswithanx.com said...

This is the kind of stuff people don't realize Kindergarten teachers do. You realize those kids will never forget you, right? You're the lady who taught them to tinkle in the urinal, for crying out loud!

nana2mdnjp said...

With all the "men" in your house, you should have had one installed when you put in your new bathrooms.

Flip Flop Momma said...

hhahahahahahaha.....

oh boy...I would never be able to do it with a striahgt face..u are God;)

jennai said...

This is the kind of stuff people donot realize kindergarten teachers do

jennai said...

First time using this will be a horrible thing and so funny lol