Thursday, September 18, 2008


Everyday after lunch I go out to the playground to collect my ducklings. Most of the time they are waiting in line for me, but occasionally there is a straggler or two. When I arrive I prepare myself for the playground paraprofessional because inevitably I'm going to hear about some injury or some less than desirable behavior.
Today I heard both. One little girl fell off the climbing structure and was sobbing, all blotchy and red. Then I heard that some of my kids had been yelling into the art room windows. The art room is in the basement and the windows are playground level so the kids can easily peek in. Not only did I hear the bad news from the playground aids, but the art teacher stopped me on the way up the stairs. I asked her what they were yelling. "Stupid kids" and "The F word", was her reply.
"The F word?" I asked, shocked.
"No, the actual words, "The Eff Word."
Kindergarteners obviously have yet to learn the fine art of dropping the f-bomb.
Nobody was really sure who was doing the yelling but I have my ways. Bwahahahaha! 
And no, it does not involve a metal chair and a lone light bulb hanging from the ceiling.
 I seem to have the power to make children feel guilty with merely the sound of my "teacher voice."
So I marched my ducklings up the stairs and sat them in their circle. I called the nurse for my sobbing blotchy girl who upon hearing that the nurse was on her way down asked, "Is she going to kill me?" (This is the same girl who yelled "We are all going to die!" during our fire drill.)
Once that was taken care of I set upon the task of finding my guilty party.
"Children we have a big problem, it seems that some of you were  yelling into the art room windows."
"Why do you think this is not a nice thing to do?" I looked around and noticed Timmy (name changed to protect the obviously guilty) whose bottom lip is starting to quiver. Tears began to roll down is cherubic cheeks. "It was me Mrs. Kindergarten! It was me!"
Those movie police interrogators have nothing on me. 


IamDerby said...

I love it when they just give themselves up... and its also kinda funny when their friends rat them out.

Flip Flop Momma said...

ha, u gotta love kids...

nana2mdnjp said...

Keep your eye on sobbing blotchy girl. Obviously she's been told that everything in life is bad.
I see problems ahead. Just wait until the first thunder storm while she's in your class. That should really be interesting.

Jen W said...

That is just.too.FUNNY!!!

The eff word and is she going to kill me had me falling off my chair practically!

Anonymous said...

Your blog is just plain hilarious... I am cracking up!!

jennai said...

Your blog is so nice and you have a lovable kids

jennai said...

I love it when they just give themselves up, You have a love kids

jennai said...

Kids will be funny when their friends are running out.