Sunday, August 3, 2008

S is for Soccer

I admit it, I'm a gasp! Soccer mom. Before that I was a soccer groupie, a soccer girlfriend, soccer fiance, and soccer wife so the mom thing was pretty much inevitable. I knew what I was getting into when I married hubby. We met in college where he played on the school's soccer team. When we left college he played for various men's leagues, my friends were girlfriends of other soccer players and it was actually a really good time.Then we had kids, three boys all soccer players. Now in my defense, I do not drive a forest green mini van (at least not anymore) I do not bring anything but my chair and my Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee to games. No picnic lunch, no cooler full of orange slices, nothing. 
What's up with the orange slices anyway? If a kid can't go for more than 90 minutes without eating he probably shouldn't be out there in the first place. Water they need, orange slices they don't. 
So I'm not your typical soccer mom. I supply the transportation and the "good game" when they're done. I cheer their accomplishments, and I provide the hug when they've had a bad game. They are responsible for bringing their own water and remembering their equipment. It's my little way of turning them into self-sufficient, independent men.
Now, with my entire family all playing, you might think I'd get the inclination to participate myself. Yesterday I tried to do just that. Little asked me if I'd take shots on him while he stood in an empty net. "Sure, why not?" I reply.
So I get my butt out of my standard-issue-soccer-mom-fold-up-captain's-chair and took the field. Ball at my feet, I suddenly feel like Mia Hamm.
There was no way this kid was keeping this ball from getting in that net. If I'm nothing else, I'm competitive!! So I take shot after shot. Maybe 10 or more. One-went-in One! Yes One!
"Okay mom, my turn to shoot."
So, with the score 1-nil (nil is soccer talk for zero, zilch, nada), I am hopeful but not very optimistic that I will come away with sweet V-I-C-T-O-R-Y.
He takes shot after shot and I save them all. Until the last. I don't save the ball, I step on it, my foot rolls off of it and I not so gracefully, fall to the ground as a sickening "pop" is heard from my knee. The pop is followed by instant pain. The kind of pain that hurts like a muthah for an instant but then slowly dissipates. 
"I win!" I hear Little say as tears of pain fall from my eyes onto the turf. "You're brilliant" I tell him, "Now help mom to her chair."
So I'll happily leave the glory to my family and I'll just be content to sit in my chair and be the "wind beneath their wings". Bend it Like Beckham? Not for this girl...
I'll wear the soccer mom label proudly! Now pass the ice pack!


Angel said...

I am enjoying reading your blog Lisa. I love it!!
I can NOT believe she stole your money. My jaw dropped on that one. I hope she REALLY needed it. The nerve of her!

Flip Flop Momma said...

I always say, im not a soccer mom im a rocker mom..haha

Why 2nd Cup of Coffee? said...

Highly entertaining and well-written! You make me proud to be a former-soccer mom. I agree with you about the orange slices. You nailed it.