Wednesday, August 27, 2008

True Test

Baby Boy #1 flunked his first test the other day. It was the first time I was relieved that he didn't do well on a test. Not because I'm a terrible mother, but because I'm a worried mother. He flunked his driving test.
It's hard enough to cut the old apron strings, but even worse when you know you're little boy is behind the wheel and in charge of an actual car that isn't powered by a battery but by a really combustible substance and doesn't go around a cute little track on rails but on asphalt with other people in other actual cars. 
The news, as always is full of reminders of how fragile life is, full of young people losing their lives to inexperience behind the wheel. Maybe it's always been this way and I'm just more sensitive to it now, but it scares the bejeezus out of me.

A year or so ago a student from his school was killed in an accident here in town. Speed and the lack of a seat belt was the apparent factor. He knew this boy, they were both members of the track team and Large was really bothered by the death of this boy. I can only hope that his death will save a few lives and someone who knew him will remember to buckle up and slow down. 
I think of his mom and dad who received "that phone call" late at night and know their lives will never be the same again. I think of him and all the kids who's lives were full of promise and are now cut short because they went too fast or took their eyes of the road to send a quick text message.

Large has always been  very responsible and I have no reason that with his license he will be any less so, but he is a S.T.B. (Stupid Teenaged Boy) and S.T.B.'s do stupid, irresponsible stuff. 
I have a whole new respect for my mother and by the way, I'm using this blog post to formally apologize for all the worry I put her through, like the time I drove in the wrong direction coming home from visiting a friend at UMASS and arrived home much later than I was supposed to. Sorry Mom!!!!
So the true test will not be whether he remembers not to speed, or to not roll through the stop sign or look over his shoulder when he pulls out or changes lanes, but how I will handle the fact that he has just a little bit more freedom and drives off being just that much further away from being my little boy.


Louise said...

Apology accepted.
Now I have him to worry about too. The worrying doesn't stop when your children move out, it just expands and includes their families too, no matter how far away they are.

Jen W said...

Eek- I'm 9 years away from that moment and am dreading it like you can't believe. I have enough trouble letting her walk home from the bus stop every day that is 6 houses down from our house!

Nash's Mom said...

Oh dear. I remember that night the boy was killed like it was yesterday. It was on my street just a couple houses down. I will never ever forget the sounds from that night. I ached for that mother. I just hoped that it might help send a message to kids to be careful, pay attention, buckle up and slow down! Large will pass when he's ready and I have no doubt that you've taught him all the right moves to be safe!